Sometimes you feel it coming, another time it just hits you. For instance, when you hear a certain song, or watch a film. Many young people with a mother or father with cancer are sad, scared or angry and/or feel alone. Some worry about the future, others shrug their shoulders and see what happens.
Sad
It is logical that you are sad if your mother or father has cancer. It is quite something after all. The atmosphere in the house is changed. You feel that your parents are sad. Maybe your mother or father looks very ill. Or maybe she or he looks quite alright but you have your doubts.
Protecting
It is possible that you find it hard to share your feelings with your parents. After all, they have enough on their plate as it is. That´s why you automatically want to protect them. But talking about grief, anger and powerlessness can help. Find someone you can trust. Your best friend, for instance, or your form tutor, your friend’s mother or someone else who has a mother or father who has (had) cancer just like you.
Ignoring it
How bad is it to ignore it? Not that bad, as long as you pay it some attention sometimes. Not thinking about it too much helps, but totally hiding your feelings does not. Alcohol and drugs do not help either. They only make things worse, for a little while you won’t feel anything, but after that it will come back a hundred time worse. Maybe try rapping, writing, kick boxing, or another activity.
Scared
Scared that your mother or father will become even more ill? Scared that the cancer will come back? Scared that you will get cancer yourself? Scared that your mother or father will die? Try to talk about your fears. If that is not possible at home, or if you find it hard, ask for an appointment with your mother or father’s doctor or make an appointment with your GP. Sometimes your fears are based on something that just simply isn´t true!
