Children from 6 to 9 years old
Hi!
If your mum or dad has cancer, it might be that you feel angry or sad. That is completely normal. Other children who have a mom or dad with cancer feel that way too. Maybe your have some questions or want to know more about. Will you join me?
What is cancer?
If you want to know how cancer starts, first you need to know that your body is made up entirely of cells, kind of like the bricks of a house. The stronger the bricks, the stronger the house. It’s the same with your body.
Cells
Every day, new cells are added. That’s because cells can divide – one cell becomes two, two become four – and so on. Luckily, cells die too every day, because otherwise you’d end up with way too many.
With cancer, one of the cells gets sick. The sick cells keep dividing and growing and growing. They clump together and push healthy cells aside. They can even grow through anything and travel through the body. So, something needs to be done to stop those cancer cells!
Many many questions
Do you have questions? See if your question is listed or send us a message. We’ll try to answer as soon as possible.
Nobody can answer this question. Getting cancer is just bad luck, sheer bad luck.
Maybe you were very angry at dad or mom, said something mean, or dad or mom tripped over your bike. That’s of course very annoying, but nobody gets cancer from that. So, cancer is NOT your fault!
No, doctors try very hard to make the cancer go away. It doesn’t always work, but fortunately, many dads and moms get better. Sometimes it takes a while though.
Cancer comes from the Latin word “cancer”, which means crab or lobster. A tumor or cancerous growth looks like a little ball with tentacles. When the discoverers of cancer saw such a little ball, they thought of a crab or lobster.
Cancer has been around for a long time. During excavations in Egypt they found mummies of people who had cancer. The disease cancer is therefore very old.
Some children think cancer is contagious, but that is NOT true. So, you can still give dad or mom a kiss or hug! Also, tell your friends because sometimes they think cancer is contagious too.
Yes, but children getting cancer is much less common than dads, moms, grandpas and grandmas. If you line up 1,000 people who have cancer, there will be 995 adults and 5 children.
Yes, animals can get cancer too. After all, an animal’s body is made up of cells just like a human body. Those cells can get sick too.
A tumor is another word for a clump of cells. Other words are growth, lump, or bump. But be careful: not every lump or bump is cancer!
Sick cells can wander through the body. A new tumor can form where the cancer cell ends up. That’s called a metastasis.
There are over a 100 different types of cancer. Each type has a different name. For example, there’s breast cancer, colon cancer, lung cancer, skin cancer, a brain tumor, blood cancer (leukemia), and so on.
Tests
To find out what exactly is going on or to see if the treatment is helping, your mum or dad has to go to hospital for some tests.
Blood tests
From your dad or mom’s blood, the doctor can see how the sick and healthy cells are doing. That means your dad or mom often has to get pricked!
X-rays
Have you ever broken your arm or leg? Then you know what an X-ray is. You can see bones on it. Dads or moms with cancer sometimes have to go for an X-ray too. This way, the doctor can see what’s going on inside.
Ultrasound
An ultrasound is a test using sound waves. The doctor puts a little gel on your dad or mom’s body and rubs a transmitter over it. The doctor can see if there’s anything wrong on a TV screen.
Treatment
There are different treatments. All of them tackle the cancer cells. The doctor looks for the treatment that’s best for your dad or mom. First, the doctor talks with other doctors. Then the doctor and your dad or mom decide on surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, and/or another treatment together.
Operations
Operation
During operation, your dad or mom is put to sleep first. This is called anesthesia. Then the doctor removes as many cancer cells as possible. Sometimes more needs to be removed, like a breast or a piece of intestine. Of course, that’s not fun at all. After the operation, your dad or mom has to stay in the hospital for a while. Once home, your dad or mom will have to take it easy for a while.
Chemotherapy
Chemotherapy
Chemotherapy is medicine that attacks and destroys cancer cells. The annoying thing is that sometimes it also attacks healthy cells. That’s why your dad or mom might feel nauseous, get a sore mouth, or lose hair. Luckily, that usually goes away. However, some dads and moms stay tired for a long time after having chemotherapy.
Chemotherapy comes in pills, an injection, or through an IV. An IV is a plastic bag hanging on a tall pole with a thin tube and a needle attached to your dad or mom’s arm. Your dad or mom usually gets chemotherapy in the hospital. If it’s pills or an injection, they can often get it at home too.
Radiotherapy
Radiation therapy
Radiation also destroys cancer cells. This is called radiotherapy. Invisible rays come out of a big machine and are directed at the cancer cells. This is very precise work because as many healthy cells as possible should be spared. The doctor calculates beforehand how much radiation is needed and where it should go. Because it needs to be in the same place every time, lines or dots are drawn on your dad or mom’s body. Radiation only takes a few minutes, but it’s done many days in a row. Your dad or mom might have to go to the hospital every day for a month.
Do you like to see how such a machine works? You can! During radiation, you can watch on a TV screen.
Other treatments
Hormone therapy
Some substances the body makes itself, for instance, hormones, make cancer cells grow faster. Of course, that is not good. That is why your mum or dad sometimes gets a treatment that gets rid of the hormones. This hormone therapy is usually made up of medicines.
Immunotherapy
Another weird word. Immunotherapy is medicines that make sure that your mum or dad’s body can defend itself better against cancer cell attacks. They try to make the body stronger, so that the cancer cells have less chance to grow.
Stem cell transplantation
If a whole lot of chemotherapy or radiotherapy is needed, stem cells can be damaged. To make sure that there can be new blood cells, there is a treatment called stem cell transplantation. Stem cells are a sort of mother cells from which –once they are grown – various new blood cells can come. Stem cells are in the bone marrow, that is on the inside of the bones. First of all, your mum or dad will have an injection to make the stem cells move from the bone marrow to the blood. Then the stem cells are taken out of the blood and kept. After that your mum or dad will get an awful lot of chemo or radiation and then in the end their cells will be put back again. If everything goes according to plan, the stem cells will grow into healthy blood cells after a while. While this whole treatment is going on, your mum or dad will sometimes have to be in a separate room and you cannot go to visit them. That can last a couple of weeks.
Chemotherapy
Chemotherapy
Chemotherapy is medicine that attacks and destroys cancer cells. The annoying thing is that sometimes it also attacks healthy cells. That’s why your dad or mom might feel nauseous, get a sore mouth, or lose hair. Luckily, that usually goes away. However, some dads and moms stay tired for a long time after having chemotherapy.
Chemotherapy comes in pills, an injection, or through an IV. An IV is a plastic bag hanging on a tall pole with a thin tube and a needle attached to your dad or mom’s arm. Your dad or mom usually gets chemotherapy in the hospital. If it’s pills or an injection, they can often get it at home too.
Radiotherapy
Radiation therapy
Radiation also destroys cancer cells. This is called radiotherapy. Invisible rays come out of a big machine and are directed at the cancer cells. This is very precise work because as many healthy cells as possible should be spared. The doctor calculates beforehand how much radiation is needed and where it should go. Because it needs to be in the same place every time, lines or dots are drawn on your dad or mom’s body. Radiation only takes a few minutes, but it’s done many days in a row. Your dad or mom might have to go to the hospital every day for a month.
Do you like to see how such a machine works? You can! During radiation, you can watch on a TV screen.
Other treatments
Hormone therapy
Some substances the body makes itself, for instance, hormones, make cancer cells grow faster. Of course, that is not good. That is why your mum or dad sometimes gets a treatment that gets rid of the hormones. This hormone therapy is usually made up of medicines.
Immunotherapy
Another weird word. Immunotherapy is medicines that make sure that your mum or dad’s body can defend itself better against cancer cell attacks. They try to make the body stronger, so that the cancer cells have less chance to grow.
Stem cell transplantation
If a whole lot of chemotherapy or radiotherapy is needed, stem cells can be damaged. To make sure that there can be new blood cells, there is a treatment called stem cell transplantation. Stem cells are a sort of mother cells from which –once they are grown – various new blood cells can come. Stem cells are in the bone marrow, that is on the inside of the bones. First of all, your mum or dad will have an injection to make the stem cells move from the bone marrow to the blood. Then the stem cells are taken out of the blood and kept. After that your mum or dad will get an awful lot of chemo or radiation and then in the end their cells will be put back again. If everything goes according to plan, the stem cells will grow into healthy blood cells after a while. While this whole treatment is going on, your mum or dad will sometimes have to be in a separate room and you cannot go to visit them. That can last a couple of weeks.
Changes
If your mum or dad has cancer, usually a lot will change.
That takes some getting used to.
Often going to hospital
Someone with cancer often has to go to the hospital. For tests, to talk to the doctor, or for treatment. Sometimes the hospital is close by, sometimes it’s not. Ask if you can go along sometime. Take a good look around you and ask if you don’t understand something.
Staying overnight or staying longer
If your dad or mom is in the hospital, you sometimes have to stay extra or go to after-school care. It might also happen that you stay over at a friend’s house or that grandma or grandpa comes to babysit.
Resting on the couch
Everyone gets tired from cancer. From all the rushing to the hospital, from the medicines, from the radiation, from all the worrying thoughts. So a dad or mom with cancer will often spend more time resting on the couch. Usually, that gets better after a while, but it might also be that your dad or mom stays tired for a long time.
Do fun things together
During treatment, your dad or mom might not be able to come with you to school or a sports game as often. If you tidy up your own room, make your own bed, or clear the table, your dad or mom can take a break and you might still be able to do fun things together.
What about you?
Feeling scared, angry and sad because your mum or dad has cancer is very normal. Let’s see what other children say about it.
Feeling alone
It can feel like you’re the only one with a mum or dad with cancer. Maybe it helps a little to know that it isn’t. That’s why we made this website.
Trouble sleeping
That’s really hard and it makes you very tired. Have you ever thought of something really nice? Close your eyes, step into a rocket or onto a flying horse, and fly to a beautiful place in the forest or on the beach. Can you feel the grains of sand and the warm water?
Tummyache
Sometimes you’re so tired or it’s so exciting that you get a tummyache. That’s very normal. Don’t think right away that you’re also sick, but lie down on the couch with a tablet or a comic book. Do you have any other ideas?
Fingers in your ears
You might not want to hear anything about cancer. That’s okay, but it doesn’t always work. Important things have to be told. It could also be that everyone keeps talking about cancer or that the phone keeps ringing all day. Try to find a solution together with your mom or dad.
Not saying anything
Maybe you think, ‘Mom and dad already find it so difficult, so I won’t say that I’m scared and sad.’ That’s kind, but if you don’t tell what you’re worrying about, no one can help you.
Being happy, keeping hope and courage
That’s of course the most, most important thing. Write a letter, draw a picture, take heart, keep hoping. Can’t your birthday party happen now? Maybe next month. Can’t you go on vacation now? Hopefully, next year will be better!
School
Circle time
If you talk about it in class, the other kids will know what’s going on at home. Tell them that cancer isn’t contagious, that being bald or wearing a wig is part of it, and that the chemo medicines fight against the cancer cells very hard. Ask the teacher to help you.
Don’t think about it for a while
School is school, and it’s nice not to think about cancer for a while. It may also be that you really do have to think about it. Then your head is just too full, and that math problem or language lesson just won’t fit in anymore. Come up with a solution together with the teacher.
Teacher doesn’t want to think about it
Some people find it scary to talk about cancer. Point the teacher to this website.
Swearing
Comforting
Do you ever feel sad at school too? That’s normal too. Luckily, most teachers are really good at comforting. Maybe you can bring your Jess, Josie, or Joy to school. Do the other kids have comfort hugs too?
Cancer curse words
Do you also explode when cancer curse words are used? Don’t do it. Say that you don’t want to hear it. Shout that it’s stupid. Go to your teacher. Don’t kick or hit, but do something about it!
Presentation
Have you already done a presentation about cancer? You know a lot about it now, and there’s much more on this site! Make a list of things you want to talk about. Look for pictures and videos. At the hospital, ask for an IV bag, plasters, a spit tray, and gauze. It will definitely be a super presentation!
Friends, neighborhood kids
Make sure your friends know what’s going on. Ask them if they want to help you if you’re feeling down. Above all, do lots of fun things with them.
What helps?
- Talk about it
- Write about it
- Draw about it
- Hit a pillowhard
- Cycle against the wind
- Cry
- Keep doing fun things
Do you know any other things that can help or do you also have a story? Just click on the bulletin board.
Talk about cancer
The future
Luckily, many dads and moms get better again. The cancer cells stay away, and the nasty time of hospitals, treatments, and feeling sad is over.
Some dads and moms have changed by the cancer and the treatments. They may miss a breast, have a scar, or a stoma. Others have to do exercises every day to get stronger again. Sometimes you can’t tell from the outside, but the worried thoughts are still there. Then they go for awalk, cycle, work in the garden, or make sculptures. Or they talk to someone. Because that helps. But you already knew that, right!
Of course, your dad or mom still has to go to the hospital now and then to make sure everything stays fine. But even that becomes less after a while. The cancer becomes a memory. Maybe you’ll think back on it later, maybe you won’t. Everything is okay.
Not getting betterIf dad or mom doesn’t get better
If it’s not possible to get rid of the cancer, there are often medicines that make the cancer cells keep quiet for a while. And if those medicines stop working, there are sometimes new medicines again. So, it may be that the cancer cells stay, but don’t grow or change. Your dad or mom can live for a long time like this!
Of course, the cancer cells need to be watched carefully. So, your dad or mom might have to go to the hospital every now and then. And maybe your dad or mom won’t be in top shape anymore. Feeling tired and sad is also part of it because it’s quite strange to know that those cancer cells aren’t going away.
When mom or dad dies
Sometimes someone is so sick that the doctor thinks he or she will die soon. You will feel angry, sad and scared. You may have all kinds of questions, such as when your mom or dad will die and how that will happen. Talk about it with your parents or the doctor.
It’s nice to keep doing things. You can make a wish jar or an idea box with notes of things you would like to do together, such as baking cookies or reading in the big bed. Maybe you can take a selfie or video as a memory.
If dad or mom is in a lot of pain and confused or scared, the doctor can give medicines to make sure dad or mom doesn't feel anything and falls asleep. If you want to say something or give a hug, do it before the doctor gives these medicines. It may take a few days before dad or mom dies.
Someone who is dying sleeps more and needs less and less food and drink. Maybe you want to lie down next to dad or mom for a while, or you hope it will be over soon. It's not strange if you think this. It's just hard when someone you love dies. Maybe you want to say something, craft, or write. Or just cuddle a lot.
Some dads or moms are so sick that they don't want to live anymore. They ask the doctor to help them die. Maybe you don't understand, but really, your dad or mom loves you very much. And yet, they can't go on anymore. Give one last hug or kiss. The doctor first gives an injection with a medicine that makes your dad or mom fall into a deep sleep. Then a medicine that stops the heart from beating.
After dad or mom has died, there will be a funeral or cremation. Maybe you want to write something about dad or mom or paint the coffin. Maybe you want to make music or sing. Maybe you'd rather not do these things. It may take a long time before you notice that you're feeling a bit better.
Coloring pages
Do you want to surprise your dad, mom, grandpa, grandma or someone else with a beautiful coloring page? Then download them below by clicking on the coloring page you like.
Have fun! You can always send photos of the possible to us!
[click on an image to download]
[click on an image to download]
Bulletin board
Do you also want your drawing on the notice board? Send it to us! You can also download Coloring Pages.
[click on an image to enlarge]
[click on an image to enlarge]
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